I'd read it somewhere, probably Facebook, ponder about it and I realized that it's true. EX LOVERS THAT ARE FRIENDS WERE EITHER NOT INLOVE WITH EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE, OR THEY STILL LIKE EACH OTHER. I for once, is a living embodiment of this premise.
I still like him, like a lot. But everything must come to an end, and no matter how painful it is, I have to move on. He had moved on for Pete's sake. He even already had hooked up with someone. If that's not the sign that should warn me, then maybe the fact that he's dating a lot of people already. And I? I am always hurting everytime he tells me about it. But who can I blame really? No one. No one but me, and my stupid decision of ending things with him. Yeah. So stupid right?
And you know what's worse about this part of every relationship? If you take all the blame. Clearly, I'm not the one at fault. I did nothing wrong, I did what most people do? And no one can dare say that I didn't loved him enough to accept him. I'm just 22 years old and believe me, as much as I want to, I can't, because I need to establish my self first, before anything else.
Other people may also say that I don't need to worry about other things? Well I got to or else, that fucking relationship will be bound for failing, and it's better to fail at the start than failing in the end, when everything is already solidly cemented.
I will admit, never passed a day that I didn't thought about him, wishing that things could had been different if I chose another answer. However, I guess things happen for a reason, and this must be a sign for me that says "hey, he is not the right one for you, so don't bother". And as much pessimist I want to be, I need to get myself up, put together and be optimistic. He surely wants to leave my life for now, but I'm not closing any doors for him in the future. Friendship? I think that's possible when all is well. When my heart recovers, and all the scars had been mended.
But for now? I'll heal myself, collect the broken pieces, and compose a new Mark, for my next and hopefully last guy, or whatever.
So, for now, I'm going to move on, again.
